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Miscarriage at 11 Weeks, now pregnant with rainbow baby!

Brave Mumma to be Kirsty, now pregnant with her rainbow baby shares her pregnancy journey. Read on to hear more about her story. Content warning: Blog post mentions miscarriage.

8 weeks pregnant

Baby is the size of a: Olive

Our first pregnancy and miscarriage: My husband and I are both healthy 30year olds who began trying for a baby in August 2020. We were lucky enough to fall pregnant relatively quickly (even though it felt like forever at the time) in January 2021. I spoke to a friend of mine who recommend a midwife who I contacted, and we arrange out first appointment when I was approximately 7weeks. Our midwife asked if I knew my dates or if we required a dating scan and because we were trying, and I had super regular cycles we opted to not have a dating scan. My husband and I met with our midwife when I was approximately 7weeks pregnant, our first appointment went great, we all got long and I felt excited and supported. The next weeks went past, I had some mild nausea and tiredness but nothing extreme and we were looking forward to our 12-week scan. 

At 11w2d (Friday) I had some bleeding, I messaged my midwife immediately and she said she would arrange an urgent scan for me on Monday and to keep her updated. My bleeding became heavier over the weekend, and I started having strong cramps. The ultrasound place contacted me on Monday morning and arranged a scan for Monday afternoon. At the scan the ultrasound technician didn’t say much however she said that she could see a collapsing gestational sac and a foetal pole measuring approx. 5w3d with no heartbeat. She said she would provide a verbal handover to our midwife, and we would hear from her. My husband and I returned home, and I awaited a call from my midwife – which never came. On Monday evening I miscarried naturally at home. 

Another week went by, and my midwife finally returned my call the following Tuesday (8days after my ultrasound). I didn’t answer her phone call as I was too angry, but I text her and said I was extremely disappointed in her lack of follow up, guidance and care over the past week and that my GP would be continuing my care. My husband and I meet with my GP, and she arranged a number of follow up blood tests to ensure my HCG levels returned to normal, offered some counselling and explained what would happen next. 

My husband and I both work in healthcare so we were fortunate enough to know what is ‘normal’ when having a miscarriage, when to seek further hospital intervention etc however no one should be expected to go through a miscarriage without any guidance and follow up is essential to ensure the miscarriage is complete and there is no risk of retained tissue and infection. I feel my midwife completely let us down. 

I had two ‘normal’ cycles post miscarriage and my husband, and I decided to ‘stop not trying’ as opposed to begin trying and fell pregnant the first month. Obviously, we were happy but also very anxious. I have a close friend who is currently pregnant who recommended an OB after knowing our experience last time and so far, our experience has been great. I am currently 8weeks,2days. feeling very sick but very happy. I had some early spotting, so our OB arranged to see me before our first official appointment at 6w4d were we saw our tiny baby and a healthy heartbeat. We had an official dating scan yesterday and everything is looking great. We are yet to have our ‘first’ official appointment with our OB yet, but I anticipate that will be next week!

If after reading this you’d be happy to share your own experience of pregnancy, please email me at to send you one of the pages (or you can send a photo of your own pregnancy journal)

7 Weeks Pregnant – Growing Family

Another beautiful Mumma shares her made with love pregnancy journal entries at 6 & 7 Weeks pregnant. Read on to hear more about her journey and her feelings towards soon having two little ones under 2.

6 weeks pregnant

Baby is the size of a blueberry

Cravings NIL

Symptoms Morning Sickness

I’ve been feeling I’m getting morning sickness this time around it is not fun, and I’m noticing that even after a good sleep I’m still very tired.

This week I talked to some good friends who are also parents, it’s been nice sharing our fears and excitement.

Advice I’ve been given that it’s only going to get harder from here (not very helpful).

What I’m doing to relax looking back of old photos of my last pregnancy and Georgia as a newborn remembering that time brings a lot of peace.

I’m most excited about I’m still adjusting to the idea of baby number two so nothing yet.

I’m most nervous about what being a mum of two under two is going to be like and how I will cope.

How I’m going I could always make improvements but I’m okay with my imperfections

If I could say anything to my baby right now it would be

“Dear Baby, I want you to know you are so loved. When I think about you my breath is still a little taken away. It’s crazy to think that in 34 short weeks I could be holding you in my arms, smelling your sweet smell and hearing your little sounds. I hope for you great things, you can be anything you dream of so dream big baby. Lots of love, X0 mummy”

If after reading this you’d be happy to share your own experience of pregnancy, please email me at to send you one of the pages (or you can send a photo of your own pregnancy journal)

6 Weeks Pregnant – Morning sickness & feeling anxious about miscarrying

A brave Mum to be in early pregnancy shares her fears and feelings at 6 Weeks, whilst anxiously awaiting her next ultrasound appointment.

6 weeks pregnant

Baby is the size of a: Sweetpea

Cravings None

Symptoms Morning Sickness, fatigue, pelvic cramping, spotting

I’ve been feeling quite anxious. The blades I have had of been nerve wracking. I did feel a little better once I met with a midwife Gina.

This week I talked to GP, urgent care and midwife.

Advice I’ve been given If I miscarry, it’s not my fault. It’s something that happens and it sucks but there’s nothing I can do about it.

I’m most excited about Nothing yet because I’m so nervous

If after reading this you’d be happy to share your own experience of pregnancy, please email me at  to send you one of the pages (or you can send a photo of your own pregnancy journal)

5 Weeks – First pregnancy appointment & scan

Beautiful mum Samantha shares the details from her made with love journal about her First pregnancy appointment and scan. Read on to hear about how she was feeling early on in her pregnancy.

Week: 5

Baby is the size of a: Apple Seed.

If after reading this you’d be happy to share your own experience of pregnancy, please email me at to send you one of the pages (or you can send a photo of your own pregnancy journal)

12 Weeks pregnant, Third baby

Week: 12

Baby is the size of a: Plum

I’ve been feeling: A lot better as of late the symptoms have died down and I have managed to put some weight back on… my husband is now getting back into work and now that stress is also gone…. feeling the excitement of having a third coming along wondering what/who they are going to look like… my first born is a spitting image of me while my daughter is a spitting image of her dad pretty scary really Lol! Been able tonnage my anxiety and just getting better sleep and eating has really improves my moods.

How have your family and friends reacted to news of baby #3? My family have been the most supportive ever… the occasional I told you guys to wait a bit till the other 2 were older from my dad but that cones from a place of genuine concern as he knows our situation. At the moment we’ve only told my immediate family and my husband’s mum, and all have been extremely supportive… I’ve only told my closest friend so far as she Is my greatest support can rely on her all the time… that one friend u know u can rant to at 2 in the morning and she will be there.. what’s also beautiful is that she is also pregnant, and we have had similar experiences… it’s just nice to have someone who can understand how I’m feeling!

When we have a chance to find out this baby’s gender…I think that’s when we will break the news to everyone in the family and also friends…. I don’t think we will keep the gender a secret as we didn’t for the first 2.

What I’m most looking forward to, either during pregnancy, or in starting a family of three… is the first kicks I can’t wait till that moment…. that’s just the most amazing thing ever I loved it so much in first 2 pregnancies and would take 5-10 mins a day just lying down feeling my belly and waiting for the kicks… was a pre-birth bonding activity for me and it makes the experience so surreal… in terms of starting a family of three, the thought of it is actually quite scary… how am I going to cope? The first 2 are already a handful how am I going to be able to split my time? What if I end up neglecting 1 of the kid? All these questions but also the excitement of having a new addition how are the other 2 going to react? We need to buy new things, clothes shopping etc… that first skin to skin contact after they are born, that first feed all of that!!! Can’t wait!

How I will deal with any feelings of anxiety in future, do you have a support network, are there people to talk to? I’m glad to say I have a good support network and liek a mentioned a very good friend who has been there for me!

What will you do differently as a third time Mum? Be more present…. eat healthier and take care of myself more… get to sleep early I have a bad habit of being on my phone all night and I suffer because of this and it 100% my fault.

What’s making you the happiest right now? Knowing that this baby is healthy and thriving even though I had the worst first trimester… it didn’t affect the baby and that makes me so relieved!

If I could say anything to my baby right now it would be:  I know it didn’t seem like it at first but mummy loves you so much!!! I wouldn’t change anything, and you were never a mistake…. you have already changed my life and its definitely for the best. Love you my little butter bean!

If after reading this you’d be happy to share your own experience of pregnancy, please email me at to send you one of the pages (or you can send a photo of your own pregnancy journal)

29 Weeks, suspected miscarriage at 8 weeks

Brave Mum to be Tesa, shares her miscarriage scare at 8 weeks. Read on to hear her story.

Week: 29

Baby is the size of a: Butternut Squash

First of all just wanted to say how much of a huge fan I am of your journal! I use it each week without fail and love it. Unfortunately it arrived the week of my suspected miscarriage and I did not want to journal anything as the whole thing was quite terrifying. 

Firstly, I do understand how lucky I am to have not miscarried and can understand how this can be triggering to people that have but at the same time think this is something not talked about enough in pregnancy. We are taught bleeding is bad and it mostly is very bad.

I was early in week 9 (which we thought was week 11 at the time but was put back at my scan) of my pregnancy and I came home from work for lunch. When I sat down, I felt this gush of liquid down there. This is my first pregnancy and I just thought that was strange. I went to the bathroom and there was blood, a large amount of blood all in one clump/clot. The blood kept coming so I called my midwife who is fantastic. We were having one of those random summer days that hit 35 degrees and she started with ‘8 have had a few of these phone calls today’ – not very reassuring. She told me to put in maturity pads and if I was changing more than one an hour, I needed to call her back a bad go to ED. The bleeding by this point had slowed down but my heart ache and worry hadn’t. Unfortunately, she could not do much so early on once the bleeding slowed down.

The next day she saw me in clinic. It was too risky to do the heartbeat and she probably would have found it anyway and in South Canterbury they have this thing about not over scanning people (I am unsure what this is like in other districts). She sent me for bloods 2 days in a row to see if my HCG was still rising. Waiting for these results was horrific I was trying to work as people did not know I was pregnant and not stress as can harm the baby. My levels were rising but not like they should have been at the thought 11 weeks. This left a blank whole and 10 days until my already scheduled scan. The midwife made the call to just wait as our ultrasound place is crazy busy.

When we went for the scan everything was thankfully and luckily ok, but this was 14 days after I bled and the way that physically and mentally wears on your body was something I don’t wish on anyone. Since talking to more people about this a lot of women can have this and a friend of my mums who was a midwife quite a few years ago said this use to be quite common and it was considered a final clean out from left over blood which usually comes out each period. I wish I had discussed this more when it happened but because I was before the 12 weeks it was my first baby and a surprise, I kept quiet and grieved with my fiancé and mum. Luckily my story was one of the lucky ones, but it doesn’t make those 14 days any less real. You get a glimpse at what people really go through and how heartbreakingly awful it is.

My whole first trimester I was horrifically ill with sickness and vomiting each day. This stopped about 16 weeks and since then I have had the odd day of vomiting. In my 12 and 20 weeks scan they have monitored my pregnancy closer to make sure there is no slight tear or anything which may have been where the blood come from. At this point they cannot locate anything.

I have been so anxious now and I feel that gush of liquid more than I would like to admit. Every time I feel my baby move around these days I smile because I came so close to not getting that feeling and I know how lucky I am to be only 11ish weeks off meeting out little one.

I know just knowing one person’s story may have made those 14 days slightly more bearable because now I know my symptoms weren’t a miscarriage but when you are in the early stages and no one knows you don’t know what is normal and what isn’t. Your midwife can tell you it’s fine and not enough blood but sometimes knowing someone else has been there may make people understand more. I now know I did not lose enough blood but when you are going through it you think you must have why else would you be bleeding..

If after reading this you’d be happy to share your own experience of pregnancy, please email me at to send you one of the pages (or you can send a photo of your own pregnancy journal)

9 Weeks Pregnant – Second baby

Week: 10

Baby is the size of a: Prune

Cravings: I have had no cravings but the smell of meat is making me feel sick

Weight: I weigh 60kgs and haven’t put on any weight yet

I have been feeling: Very tired and needing naps on the weekend. I am a teacher so by the end of the day I am pretty tired.

My partner has been: Super supportive, our daughter has really bonded with him and he has taken on the primary caregiver of her. 

Morning sickness: I first had a late period so I took a test and then have been having morning sickness on and off. I find if I don’t eat regularly I get sick and will throw up. 

When I see my body I feel: Excited and happy, I love having a bump and the weight gain isn’t something I worry about. I can’t wait to have more of a bump and be able to dress cute to show it off. 

The best thing about being pregnant so far: Is knowing that you are doing this awesome/amazing thing of growing life. I love having to move around to get comfortable and sit in a certain way.

We will/will not find out gender: We will find out the gender as it helps my husband bond and prepare for the arrival of another little one. I also can’t wait to talk about my little one having a brother or sister, so she can feel more involved. 

Exercise, food, sleep: I am not worried about gaining any weight, I go to the gym once a week and when I feel less tired push up to 2-3 times per week. I won’t be trying anything new as that is not safe. Food- I follow guidelines from Healthline about what to avoid and have been weighing in weekly but haven’t gained anything so I will speak to my midwife next week about that, last time I gained more near the end than beginning. sleep I find if I stay up past 10, I can’t sleep that night and struggling the next day. 

How old is your daughter? Was it a planned age gap, and did you have any trouble along the way, or was this a surprise? How has the pregnancy been so far with this one, compared to with your daughter? My daughter is 3 at the end of August so will be nearly 3 and a half when the baby is due. The age gap wasn’t planned as a certain age, it was more that we were ready to have another one. Our first was not planned so we wanted to buy a house and get married before we had a second. Had no trouble for either as the first was a surprise and the second was wanted but we got pregnant first go… We thought there may be trouble as 6 months before getting pregnant with my first I had a cyst burst on my right ovary and there is some damage but since I was 20 at the time they weren’t to worried as I wasn’t wanting children in the next 2-3 years and we had a fun adult weekend and got pregnant. My husband had some tests done and found he had very low sperm so was taking supplements to help support that, as well as some other issues and I guess it was just meant to be. We would like to have a third and would go with a smaller age gap between 2-3. Pregnancy has both been similar with the morning sickness, I feel the second time has been dragging on longer (still haven’t announced as I am not 12 weeks yet) but I found out at like 3 weeks the second time and was nearly 8 weeks with my first. 

If I could say anything to my baby right now it would be: I would say that I love and can’t wait to meet you. I promise to protect you with everything I have and that I will treasure the 4th trimester (as I didn’t know about it until my first was past that stage) 

If after reading this you’d be happy to share your own experience of pregnancy, please email me at to send you one of the pages (or you can send a photo of your own pregnancy journal)

7 Weeks Pregnant – Stay with me Baby

Incredibly brave Mumma Nicola shares her pregnancy journeys over the last three years, read on to hear her story.

Content warning: blog post talks about Miscarriage

Baby is the size of a: Blueberry.

We fell pregnant with our first baby in May 2019. We were really lucky and fell pregnant on our second cycle of trying. Things were going really well with that pregnancy – or so we thought. We had our dating scan at 6 and a half weeks, saw our little baby and its heartbeat and got even more excited. I wasn’t sick or anything. We then had our first midwife/OB appointment at 10 and a bit weeks and when the OB was doing the bedside scan at that appointment is when we discovered that our baby no longer had a heartbeat. I had to then go for a formal scan to confirm this and see what size baby was when it stopped growing. Our world came crashing down and it absolutely broke me. The scan showed that the baby had stopped growing in the 8-week range, and I had had what was called a “Missed Miscarriage”. I was given the option of wait and let things happen naturally, take some medication to pass the foetus, or go for a D&C. I elected to have the medication – Misoprostol – and to do it at home. I was told it would be just like a ‘bad period’ and it was the single most horrific experience of my life. I wish every day that I just went for the D&C. It didn’t occur to me that the medication would dilate my cervix – hello contractions, and the guilt of passing my baby into the toilet is something that still haunts me. The heartache of seeing our babe’s heartbeat and growing them for what you thought was 7 weeks and becoming so attached to them and the idea of them, and the having them taken away from you is something I had never felt before. I think we forget about the guys too; you know. My husband was a wonderful support to me, but he lost a baby too. Although he didn’t have the same connection that I did, it was still his baby. I feel like I did a really bad job at supporting him because I was barely getting by myself.

We then fell pregnant with our now 14MO in August 2019. Textbook pregnancy, I felt really good, wasn’t sick, but was blessed with hives all over my body for 5 weeks from weeks 22-27. This pregnancy, especially the first trimester was absolutely riddled with anxiety, and I was so petrified that we were going to lose this baby too. We didn’t find out he was a boy until he was earthside and I am so glad we waited. He was everything we wished for, and I loved being pregnant.

We then decided we were ready for another baby and found out that we were pregnant in April 2021 – On our little boy’s first birthday. This pregnancy was short lived unfortunately. A week after we found out we were expecting I started spotting. I knew in my gut what was happening but was hopeful I was wrong. I thought that surely, I couldn’t be this statistic twice. 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage – therefore I should have 3 healthy babes before this happens again, right? The next morning, I woke up and started bleeding heavily/passing some clots. Blood tests confirmed that I had in fact had a miscarriage. Again. This one, although I was devastated, was much less traumatic, which I am so thankful for.

This leads us to the now – a journal entry from June 26, when I finally sat down and wrote something about this pregnancy.

June 26, 2021.

On this day 2 years ago, we lost our first baby. A date this is forever etched into my mind, as is January 27, when that baby would have been due. And here we are, onto our fourth pregnancy, and hopefully you will be our second baby. We found out that we were expecting you on May 25, 2021. We were trying for you, but I wasn’t convinced I was pregnant. I was 5 days out from my period and had some spotting. Your dad was actually the one who suggested I take a pregnancy test. I just thought my period was coming early which is super unusual, but I thought that the miscarriage we had the month before had messed with my cycle. Turns out dad was right, because this is when we found out you existed. 

I wasn’t excited about you initially, which I feel so guilty for. My mindset had turned to thinking of myself as clearly fertile, but unable to stay pregnant. Something was clearly wrong with my body because it had let me down multiple times now.

I waited until I was well overdue for my period and had bloods done the day before my GP appointment. Went and saw Kate (our GP – you’re lucky kid, we have a seriously fantastic & supportive GP). She told me that my hCG levels were fantastic. This gave me hope. 

We then had to wait it out for a dating scan. We had this scan on June 21st. I was so incredibly nervous; dad was as cool as a cucumber which has how he has been this entire time. Nothing phases him but in saying that I think he is quietly nervous after being let down with our previous losses. But alas, we had the scan and we saw you. Your little self-jiggling around, and your ticking little heartbeat. You measured at 7 weeks on the dot, and you were perfect for your age. Relief is an understatement on how I felt, and this is when I let my guard down and begun to get excited.

I am still so wary, we aren’t even at the 8-week mark yet, but I’ve felt mildly hungover for the last week and a bit, particularly in the mornings and by the end of the day, which is so different to how I felt with your brother, so that was a shock to my system. But that’s okay, because as long as I feel like this, then maybe my hormones are doing the right thing and you’re still here with me, growing nicely, like I wish for every single day.

Please stay with me baby. You’re already more loved and wanted than you could know.

Love, Mama. xx 

If after reading this you’d be happy to share your own experience of pregnancy, please email me at to send you one of these pages (or you can send a photo of your own pregnancy journal).

11 Weeks Pregnant – Baby number 2

Baby is the size of:  A fig I believe!
Weight: 78kg (increase of 3 kg)
Symptoms: Nausea and Vomiting. Although slightly improved from the first few weeks, I am still vomiting 1-2 times a day. I have a really sore lower back, maybe sciatica. It has been giving me grief particularly the past 2 days.
Cravings: Nothing specific yet. I am enjoying mandarins and raspberry milkshakes. I don’t crave them but when I have them, they seem to taste better than they ever did haha!

I’ve been feeling: Better emotionally, not as tearful this week. A little stressed about how fast my pregnancy seems to be going and that the baby will be here before we know it. Excited, I’ve been counting down the days to my midwife appt to hear a little heartbeat 

My partner has been: So thoughtful and supportive. Helping me when I could not walk well with the back pain the past couple of days. Doing more with our toddler so I can rest more.

When I see my body, I feel: Honestly not great. I am not happy with how much weight I have gained already; I am showing much much sooner than I did with my daughter and I just felt bloated and horrible. It’s an awkward stage where no one knows we are pregnant, but I’ve got a tummy on me, and I feel as though everyone is noticing it and gossiping. I wish I were one of those people that were comfortable with their body no matter the shape but I’m not and I’m struggling this week.

Something I need to get done is:
So much, endless to do list. Have not started anything for bub yet. We’re working on upgrading hubby’s car so we can actually put a car seat in their cause currently it has been a lot of car swapping depending when I’m working etc.

The best thing about being pregnant so far is: That first scan, seeing the tiny little ‘blob’ on the screen and seeing their little heart beating.

Will I find out babies gender: Totally undecided on this one! Leaning more towards a surprise baby. We did not find our daughters gender out until 35 weeks and I almost wish we had waited a few more weeks.

How I am going with diet, exercise, health goals, sleep, stress:
Diet-terribly-carbs are the only thing that is settling my stomach right now and meat is not okay at all. Exercise – I am still attending my HIIT classes 2-3 times a week so I am okay with that, struggling a bit through classes but persevering. Sleep- great! I have been trying to nap with my daughter each day, it’s been so nice to cuddle up with her and to get some extra rest in.

What I would say to my baby right now: “We told your sister about you tonight, she was so excited and can’t wait to give you big cuddles”

If after reading this you’d be happy to share your own experience of pregnancy, please email me at to send you one of the pages (or you can send a photo of your own pregnancy journal)

4 Weeks Pregnant! Finding out the Good News

The day you discover your pregnancy will be one of the most exciting, emotional, and possibly nerve-racking of your life. Even though you may have planned and looked forward to getting pregnant, you can’t predict how you’ll feel when you find out.

4 Weeks Pregnant – Finding Out the Good News

I am so excited to share this Mama’s Good News! Discovering she is 4 Weeks Pregnant with her second child, and willing to share her pregnancy journal entries with us along the way. She says:

It’s been a shock to me and my husband but one we’re starting to come around to! We did three tests just to even be able to believe it – haha Baby #2 scares me a lot as hubby works away in mining 7:7 so I’m alone with my current daughter a week at a time.

I’m 5 weeks 5 days gestation now, and have a doctors appointment next week for the formal bloods scan referral etc. I’d be most happy to send you my weekly updates, I actually ordered your pregnancy journal the day we found out! 

When and where did you find out, and how ‘far along’ are you, according to your LMP?

It was June 10, 2021 at 9:30 am when I discovered I was 4 Weeks Pregnant!

Honestly, I knew I was pregnant before I tested, I just had a feeling. Based on my last menstrual period I would be four weeks. I was due my period the day I tested.

How did you tell your partner, and how did they react?

I told my husband the same day, about 30 minutes later after I woke him up. We were sat in bed and I made him close his eyes and then gave our daughter the tests to hand to him.

What were your initial feelings?

Despite having known before testing, I was quite shocked and scared as a little treasure has come much sooner than I had intended.

What were your initial feelings?

I’m still really scared as I’m having a tough time with my first child, but I am excited to go our family. I also love being pregnant and I’m really looking forward to it!

I actually ordered your pregnancy journal the day we found out! 

Who were the next people you told, and what were their reactions?

Our parents, surprised as we weren’t planning to quite so soon but we are so excited.

If after reading this you’d be happy to share your own experience of pregnancy, please email me at to send you one of these pages (or you can send a photo of your own journal).

See ‘made with love’ pregnancy journal mentioned at and see also the new ‘to my child’ range at

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