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Wedding Planning with ADHD: 9 Steps to Get Started and Stay Motivated and On Track

Wedding planning can be a daunting task for anyone, but for people with ADHD, it can be particularly overwhelming. Planning a wedding can be a complex and demanding task that requires attention to detail, organization, and effective time management, and ADHD may present some challenges.

Even if you have been diagnosed, you may not be aware of exactly why the idea of planning a wedding feels so difficult to you, but essentially, for people with ADHD, “planning” can be a really difficult concept. So, before you begin planning, give yourself some grace, understand why planning is hard, and how you can overcome the struggle of getting organised.

In fact, if you can find enjoyment in the process of wedding planning, you may even be able to really excel at it. Don’t write yourself off – not everyone with ADHD will struggle with planning a wedding. Some will even get into a ‘hyperfocus’ mode with planning and organisation and it will be a breeze.

If you’re currently struggling with the idea of planning your wedding though, I completely understand (from a former Bride with ADHD) and know that with appropriate support and strategies, you can absolutely plan the Big Day of your dreams, and more importantly, enjoy doing it.

Why do People with ADHD have trouble with Planning?

ADHD affects your ability to pay attention, regulate your impulses, and even manage behaviour. People with ADHD may struggle to sustain attention and focus for extended periods, which can make it difficult to plan and complete complex tasks.

People with ADHD may also struggle with estimating how much time a task will take, which can lead to underestimating how much time they need for planning and preparation. Of course, for a wedding especially, this can result in disorganised and incomplete plans, which can ultimately lead to difficulty with follow-through.

How does Wedding Planning present a particular challenge?

First, the wedding planning process can be overwhelming, involving many details and decisions that need to be made. This can be especially challenging for individuals with ADHD, who may have difficulty breaking down large tasks into smaller, more manageable parts.

Additionally, people with ADHD may have difficulty with working memory and sustained attention, which can make it difficult to remember all the details and steps involved in planning a wedding. This can lead to disorganization and forgotten tasks, which can ultimately impact the success of the wedding planning process. People with ADHD may struggle with impulse control, which can lead to making hasty decisions or overlooking important details in the planning process.

Actionable Tips for Wedding Planning with ADHD

By taking these steps, you can start your wedding planning journey with confidence and ease.

  1. Set Priorities

    The first step to successful wedding planning is to set priorities. Determine what aspects of the wedding are most important to you and your partner. This will help you focus your attention and energy on the tasks that matter most. Make a list of your priorities and keep it in a visible place, such as your fridge or desk. This will serve as a reminder of what you’re working towards.
  2. Break it down into manageable tasks

    When you start wedding planning, the lack of structure and overwhelming amount of tasks to complete can be a recipe for procrastination and stress. One of the keys to successful wedding planning for couples with ADHD is to break wedding planning down into manageable tasks. Start by creating a to-do list of all the tasks that need to be completed. Then, prioritize the tasks and break them down into smaller, more manageable steps. For example, instead of “choose wedding invitations,” break it down into “research wedding invitation options” and “select and order wedding invitations.”
  3. Get organised

    Organisation is key for couples with ADHD. Use a wedding planner book, and/or binder or folder to keep all important documents and information in one place. This can include vendor contracts, receipts, guest lists, and to-do lists.

    One such tool is the little white book wedding planner which is specifically designed for simplicity and ease of use. The little white book is a great option for couples with ADHD as it includes a 12-month diary with integrated checklists, so everything is in one place. The little white book helps you by giving you a timeline of when you want to complete each task. Having a visual representation of the timeline can help you see the progress you’re making and keep you motivated.
  4. Set Deadlines

    ADHD can make it difficult to stay on track, so setting deadlines can be helpful for time management. Use your wedding planner to assign specific deadlines to each task. Be realistic about the time it will take to complete each task and build in extra time for unexpected setbacks. When you have a deadline to work towards, you may be more likely to stay on task and complete the task in a timely manner.
  5. Limit distractions

    Distractions can be a major roadblock for couples with ADHD when it comes to wedding planning. Set aside specific times to work on wedding planning tasks and eliminate any distractions during those times. This might mean turning off your phone, closing your email inbox, and finding a quiet workspace.
  6. Delegate tasks

    It’s important for couples with ADHD to recognize that they can’t do everything themselves. Consider delegating tasks to friends and family members who are willing to help. This could include tasks such as making centerpieces, addressing invitations, or helping with setup and cleanup on the day of the wedding.
  7. Take breaks

    Wedding planning can be a stressful and overwhelming process, especially for couples with ADHD. It’s important to take breaks and practice self-care throughout the planning process. This might mean taking a walk, practicing meditation, mindfulness and gratitude, or scheduling a massage or spa day.
  8. Get Support

    Wedding planning can be overwhelming, so it’s important to have a support system. Enlist the help of friends and family to assist with tasks or provide emotional support. Consider hiring a wedding planner to take some of the stress off of you.
  9. Focus on what’s important

    Finally, it’s important for couples with ADHD to focus on what’s truly important when it comes to their wedding day. Don’t get bogged down in minor details or become obsessed with perfection. Remember that the most important thing is to celebrate your love and commitment to each other with the people you care about most.

In conclusion, wedding planning can be challenging for couples with ADHD, but with some strategies and tools in place, it is possible to plan a beautiful and memorable wedding without getting overwhelmed. By using a wedding planner book like the little white book, breaking down tasks, setting realistic timelines, limiting distractions, getting organized, delegating tasks, taking breaks, and focusing on what’s important, couples with ADHD can plan a wedding that reflects their unique personalities and love story.

How to Design Your Wedding Reception Menu: Expert Advice and Inspiration from Simple to Extravagant

The style of catering and the reception menu you choose for your wedding day can have a big effect on the overall feel and impression of the whole day, not to mention the cost. Many couples say that having good food is one of their utmost wedding priorities.

How to Design Your Wedding Reception Menu

Catering a wedding isn’t as simple as any other meal – either to choose a menu for, or to prepare. Depending on the number of guests you are having, your venue and your budget, you may be able to choose all of your favourite foods for your wedding menu, or make a few compromises. Thankfully, the modern couple now has more wedding menu options than ever, which will cater to all budgets!

I’ve previously written a guide to choosing between wedding catering options – i.e. style of catering, and weighing up the relative pros/cons/costs of each – so this article will focus on how to actually design a menu – it’s all about the food. Whether each of these will work with your choice of catering style will depend on your imagination and creativity!

Should you Plan a Wedding Menu According to your Favourite Foods?

If you’re making decisions about your wedding menu according to your favourite foods, consider whether your palate will be a popular one. Also think about whether your food of choice will be able to be served to a large group simultaneously, and whether it’s something made from scratch right before serving, or if it can be prepared earlier.


When choosing your wedding day canapes, aim for a balanced selection of flavours; some hot/some cold; at least 1-2 vegetarian options, and opt for those which are easy to eat in one bite. By definition, canapes should be able to be eaten with just your fingers and usually in one bite. Serving larger canapes which take a few bites to eat can be a bit of a pain at weddings, as guests are usually holding a Champagne glass in the other hand, so need to be able to snack easily.

How Many Canapés per Guest Do You Need?

First of all you need to make the basic assumption that your guests will eat 4-6 pieces in the first hour and 2-4 pieces each hour after that, and then consider the following:

  • If someone is passing the canapés around then this will be less and if the food is unattended at a stand alone station it will be more
  • If you event is happening during a normal meal time, then increase your canapés by 25-50%, this is also works if you event is following a meal, as you can then decrease the number of canapés needed by 25-50%
  • If there are mostly men, use more and the opposite applies for events that are mostly women

Your caterer will probably provide you with a list of canapes they typically serve, but some great balanced choices include:

  • Sushi – a great vegetarian option
  • Crumbed aquid
  • Tomato bruschetta
  • Blinis with crème fraîche, roast beef & cornichons.
  • Small lettuce cups
  • Fig & goat’s cheese puffs
  • Thai chicken skewers – easy to hold but a more substantial choice
  • Mini Tacos
  • Club Sandwiches

While guests won’t be filling up on canapes, they’re an important part of your wedding day menu, especially if your guests are waiting for a couple of hours before your wedding reception dinner, and having a few drinks.

How to Choose Your Wedding Menu - Catering Advice

The Main Meal

Seasonal Choices – When it comes to your main menu food choices, keep the seasons in mind for your wedding catering, and your tastebuds and budget will thank you. Of course, in New Zealand we have access to fresh meat all year around, but your choice of vegetables will certainly benefit from seasonal choices. Autumn and Winter are best for hearty vegetables, though vege like carrots, kumara and yams can certainly be given a modern twist by your caterer, and eggplants add interest and texture.
Summer weddings are spoiled with seasonal vegetables, with plenty of ripe tomatoes and avocados making colourful salads, while summer fruits are perfect to add flavour to dessert or wedding cake options.
Meat and Three Vege – Is a little bit dated! Vegetarian and Veganism is on the rise, so if you’re not catering to those who favour meat-free meals, you may leave some guests hungry. Offer a balanced meal to all your guests by providing at least one vegetarian option, and/or plenty of vegetables on the plate.

Comfort Foods Which can be Made Wedding Appropriate

Especially if you’re catering to a heavy-drinking crowd, you may be considering heavier, comfort foods for your wedding menu. Give comfort foods (which everyone loves) a classy twist and noone will go hungry!

  • Make Cheeseburgers Wedding Menu Appropriate by serving small sliders – cute and bite sized!
  • BLT – Bacon, Lettuce & Tomato Sandwiches can be made Wedding cool by turning them into little bruscetta, think diced tomato and lettuce with little bacon pieces on top – yum!
  • Fried Chicken (& Waffles!) – One I wish we’d served, my absolute perfect comfort food. Serve bite-sized chicken and waffle bites as canapes, just make sure they really are bite-sized, as extra-large canapes can be messy.
  • Ice Cream – My personal fav, and while it wasn’t easy enough to serve at our wedding, your caterer may be able to create mini ice-cream cones for dessert, perfect if you’re serving a banquet style meal or dessert table.
  • Doughnuts – Duh, a Donut Wall is Perfect for a Wedding, both as a dessert station backdrop or even the backdrop for a Selfie Station – talk about sweet photos 😉

24 Carrots Catering – See Brunch Wedding Inspiration for more Comfort Food!

Considerations When Serving Traditional Food from your Culture

If you’re planning on serving traditional food from your culture, think about whether those flavours will be suitable for your entire guest list. New Zealand, for example, has a lot of Indian and Chinese weddings, though the spices of Indian, and the flavours of Chinese, may not be suitable for a delicate palate, especially older people.
If you’re serving a traditional wedding menu from your culture, perhaps ask your caterer to provide less flavourful options for some, and serve plenty of white rice to soak up the flavours, for instance.

Late Night Bites

If you’re having a late night, consider whether you might like to serve a late night snack additional to your wedding reception menu. We served pizza and it went down extremely well at 11:30pm!

The Buffet Menu

If you’re hosting a buffet style wedding reception, you have the advantage of choosing lots and lots of varieties of food, which makes designing your wedding menu both fun, and possibly challenging!
Still, do choose dishes that would naturally complement each other – most people won’t enjoy both a hearty Indian curry and Fish & Chips (I probably would!). Don’t make your vegetable options an after-thought at your buffet either, buffet food has come a long way, and a good caterer will be able to put together delicious vegetable options that are as interesting and delicious as the meat options.

Set Menu/Alternate Drop

Personally, I find this style of menu too restrictive (and annoying, I always want whatever the people next to me are having!) but if you’ve chosen an alternate drop menu, for example beef or chicken, ensure there are also plenty of salads, vegetables and bread available – if anyone truly doesn’t want to eat whatever their ‘drop’ was, at least they can fill up on alternatives.
For alternate drop, you really only get to make two choices, so the most common is one red meat, and chicken, because not everyone enjoys fish. If you already know your guests include a lot of vegetarian or vegan eaters, this may not be the best choice.

Cocktail Menu

One drawback of a Cocktail wedding menu is that guests don’t actually stop to eat, as there’s no set place from which to get food, and some can end up hungry (and drunk). While a cocktail wedding is very fun and sociable, I suggest that as well as having staff serve canapes through the evening, you have a designated place for trays of food, and possibly, larger, substantial bites. Again, when designing a cocktail menu for your wedding, think balance and variety.
Whichever menu you choose, it’s important to check with your guests for any food and allergy requirements when they RSVP. Both the our wedding planner and the planning pack remind you of this, as well as having spaces to record notes from each guest, so you’ll make sure to stay on track.

Hawkes Bay catering guru’s Orton Tailored Cuisine also gives us his expert advice:

It is true what they say that the most talked about thing after a wedding is generally the food. When someone asks how the wedding was, the reply is usually a recount of the outstanding lamb or not so memorable salmon.

We may be biased but we like to think of food as one of the highest priorities of a wedding. The caterer and menu is something that should not be left to the default options put forward.

We have taken the time to compile our top 5 considerations when planning your menu with your caterer.

1. Your favourites

Think about if you were hosting at home. What would you cook? How you would you present it? Perhaps you would serve a big-shared feast down the middle of the table or immaculately presented individual plates. You may start with a platter laden with local produce or you may choose to not seat your guests formally at the table at all. What is your favourite cookbook, chef or food blog?

All these favourites can be inspiration with your style of menu and sharing this with your caterer ensure you are on the same page from day dot.

2. Your travels

We love this one! It is always an exciting brief when couples share with us their memorable meals from around the globe and request elements of these. Think about food that evokes memories. We are currently working on an entirely Spanish menu for one couple (yes, there are churros to finish!) and we have a wedding coming up who are serving mini hotdogs as a nod to their New York engagement.

3. The flow of your day

Giving though to the run-sheet and how the menu will flow is something not to be overlooked. Consider from start to finish and remember it does not have to be the default Entrée, Main, Dessert. What about Canapes served standing, a seated main, Dessert Canapes handed around the dance floor and then late night snack? Who doesn’t love a pulled pork slider at 10pm or a bag of homemade sea-salt popcorn for the bus-ride home in the wee hours?

4. The details

The food need not stop at the menu. Give some though to the details. Consider the cutlery, the napkins. plates and even the salt and pepper dishes or bread-baskets. Take it one step further and consider the staff uniforms (bow-ties anyone?) and the presentation of food. We had a bride request all food for the mains include edible flowers as garnishes. Our side of beetroot, kale and pea shoots looked incredible with the addition of some bright orange peppery nasturtiums.

5. The drinks

Apply the 4 points above when considering what to serve for drinks at your wedding (this is assuming you are blessed with the flexibility of byo or a venue that bends the rules). 1. What are your favourites? 2. What gems have you discovered on your travels? We have recently served a Malbec from Mendoza (Argentina) – It had a terribly romantic backstory that we encouraged them to share on the drinks menu. 3. Consider timings and the seasons. Pimms post ceremony in summer, Mulled wine in winter and I am looking at you Espresso martini for later. 4. Consider glassware, waterjugs and of course pretty labels help too.

Always come back to the bottom line of YOU (and the fiancé of course) and having a menu and day that reflects you as a couple. Your day. Your way. Churros and all.

Wedding Catering Donut Wall Advice Choosing Menu

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