Your wedding vows are your heartfelt and very personal promises to each other, but the idea of writing them yourselves, and then performing them in front of family and friends can feel a litlte overwhelming. Though you can choose to use the “traditional vows”, most couples opt to write their own vows, or at least personalise them. Writing your own vows adds a personal touch to the ceremony, and reflects your unique love story. To help couples to include their personal quirks and what is so special about their relationship, we include “our love story” pages in the little white book wedding planner, to prompt you to write about what makes your bond so special, as you plan your Big Day.

Why You Should Write Your Own Vows

Writing your own vows allows you to express your love and commitment in your own words – it makes the promises feel a lot more ‘real’ and ‘personal’. It is a chance to speak from the heart and to create a more meaningful and intimate ceremony. It can also help calm nerves and make the ceremony more special, sharing your own quirky stories, and feeling like yourselves, rather than just reading something written decades ago by someone else.

Your vows are the promises you make to each other, and they can be as simple or as complex as you want them to be. You have complete creative control, and the freedom to make them as personal and unique as you want.

The best wedding vows will be personal, meaningful, and heartfelt. They will express your love and commitment to your partner in a way that feels authentic to your relationship. Some key elements that make good wedding vows include:

1. Personalisation: Your vows should reflect your unique love story and the special qualities that you appreciate in your partner. Avoid just using cliches or generic phrases and instead focus on what makes your relationship special.
2. Honesty: Your vows must be honest and sincere. This may mean acknowledging any challenges you may have faced as a couple, while also expressing your unwavering commitment to your partner.
3. Emotion: Your vows should come from the heart and be filled with emotion. Whether you express your love through words or actions, your partner should be able to feel the depth of your emotions.
4. Specificity: Your vows should be specific and not general. You can use examples, anecdotes, and shared memories to make your vows more personal and meaningful.
5. Humour: You don’t have to be serious all the time. Including a bit of humour, or a lighthearted approach to this part of the service will make your vows more memorable and engaging for your guests, but also put each other at ease.
6. Length: There’s no set length for wedding vows, but they should be long enough to express your love and commitment while also being concise enough to keep your guests engaged. Aim for about one to three minutes of speaking time.

Ultimately, the key to writing your wedding vows is to be true to yourselves. Speak from the heart and express your love in a way that feels authentic to your relationship. Consider how you want to make your partner feel as they hear your vows, and what would make you feel special and loved, to hear from them.

10 Tips for Writing Your Wedding Vows

Writing your vows can be daunting, especially if you are not used to putting your feelings into words. Here are some tips to help you get started:

1. Start by reflecting on your relationship and your future together. What are the qualities you love most about your partner? What are some of the challenges you have faced together, and how have you grown from them? What are your hopes and dreams for the future?
2. Consider the structure of your vows. Do you want to start with a personal story or anecdote? Do you want to make promises to each other? Do you want to share affirmations of your love and commitment?
3. Be sincere and genuine in your writing. Your vows don’t need to be long or overly elaborate. The most important thing is that they come from the heart and express your love and commitment to your partner. Keep your language simple and sincere, and focus on the things that matter most to you and your partner.
4. Consider your partner’s personality and preferences. Think about what your partner likes and dislikes, what makes them happy and what doesn’t, and what they value most in life. This can help you tailor your vows to your partner’s personality and make them feel even more special.
5. Look for inspiration. If you’re struggling to come up with ideas, look for inspiration from other sources (we include some at the end of this article). You can read poems, quotes, or love letters to get ideas for your own vows. You can also read other couples’ wedding vows for inspiration.
6. Think about your relationship with your partner and what you have gone through together. Reflect on the moments that defined your love and the qualities that you admire in them. Write down some anecdotes or stories that showcase your love for one another.
7. Think about your future together – As you write your vows, think about your future together as a married couple. What do you want to achieve together? What are your dreams for your life together? Share your vision of your future with your partner and express your commitment to making it happen.
8. Write a promise – A vow is a promise, so include one in your wedding vows. Think about what you promise to your partner, whether it’s to love and cherish them for the rest of your life, to be their rock in difficult times, or to always support their dreams and goals. Make it personal and meaningful to your relationship.
9. Include humour – Wedding vows don’t have to be completely serious. Don’t be afraid to include some cute, funny lighthearted moments in your vows. Share some stories about your time together or make a witty promise to your partner. Just make sure it’s in good taste and won’t offend anyone in attendance.
10. Practice, Practice, Practice – Once you’ve written your vows, practice reading them out loud. It’s important to make sure that they sound good when spoken, and that you’re comfortable saying them in front of others. Practice with your partner, a friend, or in front of a mirror until you’re confident with your delivery.

5 Wedding Vow Examples to get you Started

1. “I promise to always be your partner (and partner-in-crime!) your confidante, and your biggest supporter and cheerleader. I will love you, cherish you, care for you, and encourage you to follow your dreams. I will be patient, kind, and understanding, and I promise to always communicate openly and honestly with you. I vow to love you more each day, and to be your partner for as long as I live.”
2. “Today I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals and dreams, and to always be there for you through thick and thin. I promise to be your best friend, your soulmate, and your partner in all things. I vow to say yes every time you suggest getting takeaways, to remember not to ask you important questions before you’ve had your first coffee, and to never doubt your sense of direction, even when it feels like we are going around in circles. I will loe you always, comfort you when you need it, and to always hold your hand through life’s ups and downs.”
3. “As I stand here before you today, I give you my heart and my soul. I promise to be your rock, your safe haven, and your home forever. I vow to love you fiercely and to always honour and respect you. I will be your cheerleader – to support you in your passions and encourage you to be your best self. I promise to grow with you, to learn with you, and to always cherish and appreciate the amazing person you are.”
4. “From this day forward, I vow to be your partner in all things. I promise to be patient, compassionate, and understanding, and to always strive to see things from your perspective. I will be your strength when you need it, and your soft place to fall when life gets tough. I vow to love you unconditionally, to laugh with you, and to always cherish the precious moments we share together.”
5. “I promise to be your faithful and loving partner, to stand by you through thick and thin, and to always support you in your dreams and aspirations. When you need a friend, I will be your best friend. When you need help, I will be there for you. When you need care, I will support you. When you want to try something new, I will encourage you. And when you do the same for me, I will appreciate you. But if you don’t… I will forgive you.”

When considering your vows and looking to the future, don’t forget the best relationships, and the marriages that last the distance are the ones who put the work in. Make your marriage a priority, be each other’s cheerleader, grow together, communicate. Discover our couple’s journals including I still do wedding anniversary journal, to encourage you to do so.