CONGRATULATIONS! WHEN’S THE WEDDING?! If this isn’t literally the most annoying question people ask when you’re engaged, then these next few most certainly are…
It seems that not only are you expected to have your entire wedding planned within minutes of slipping the ring onto your finger, but you also have to answer the most annoying and inane questions over and over and over and over and over, when you’re engaged. Oh, and don’t expect there to be any interest in the rest of your life (you know, the one you had pre-engagement) until well after the nuptials.
I literally just said yes, IDK when the wedding is, okay, next?
The 9 Most Annoying Questions People Ask When You’re Engaged
When there’s a sparkly new engagement ring on your finger, not only are you preparing for a wedding, but you must also prepare to be asked some of the most annoying questions. Oh, and if they’re not annoying, they’re awkward AF… (no, I haven’t finalised the guest list or sent out the invitations, yet…)
After discussing this issue with newly engaged women, I’ve compiled a list of the 9 most annoying questions people ask when you’re engaged.
1. “How did They Propose?” The Proposal Story…
That feeling you experienced when they got down on one knee and asked you to marry them… try to capture that excitement and replicated it 1,000 times over the next year, at least.
It is the most asked question that everyone wants to hear about. Will it meet everyone’s expectations of being THE MOST romantic proposal of all time? Maybe not, but they’ll want to hear it anyway. Depending on how well they know you already, telling your proposal story also opens the door to a huge range of questions – so look forward to talking about your relationship for the rest of the day! Trust me, in a month’s time, you will be over talking about it.
2. Were you expecting him to propose? The Guessing Game…
The question most likely to follow the proposal story is the guessing game question… had you ruined the surprise for yourself, did you see through the elaborate ruse that morning; have you been nagging them to propose for five years already?
Does everyone really need to know whether you were prepared or not? Whether you discussed marriage before he popped the question is your business… and something you’re welcome to keep to yourself! If you’re happy to share, go for it, but there’s something nice about keeping your cards close to your chest when it comes to the guessing game.
3. Do you love the ring? Is that what you would have chosen?
Um… this is tricky. You can hardly respond by saying you secretly don’t like your engagement ring, can you? It’s a strange question for people to ask, but they will! Simply answer saying it fits perfectly, he/she made a great choice, and you love it. If you don’t actually like it, you can always change your engagement ring…
4. Have you chosen your Bridesmaids and Groomsmen yet?
For those who have many friends, this can be a cut-throat decision. There may even be friends who are secretly hinting (pick me!)… but it is best not to say anything yet. Until you know what size and style of wedding you’re having, it’s best to keep this on the down-low – if you’re having a smaller wedding or opt to elope, you may not even have a bridal party. Don’t rush into the decision of who to choose for your wedding party – like inviting too many guests, it’s a difficult one to undo!
5. How many people are you inviting – The “Am I invited?” question…
This is write up there with “When are you getting married?” because when you’re newly engaged, prior to working out your budget, and before choosing your wedding venue, how can you possibly know how many are on the guest list?
It’s especially difficult to answer this question if you’re already pretty sure the person asking is not going to be attending… but a “we haven’t began to work out our guest list” will suffice!
6. Who’s paying for the wedding?
This is one of the most annoying questions to be asked when you get engaged, not only because you probably don’t yet know, but also because it’s a very personal question!
People seem to think that a wedding is an “open book” when it comes to finances – but really, how much your wedding costs and who’s paying isn’t really any of their business.
What I can suggest, though, is that if you are receiving financial contributions towards your wedding budget, that you are very clear with those assisting exactly what they’re getting in return – whether they are expecting to invite many of their friends, or whether they’re hoping to be involved in any other decisions. While any offer to financially contribute is generous, those offers may also come with expectation of reciprocity.
Even worse than this question is “Why would you get married, it’s such a waste of money” – and YES people even ask this!
7. Will you be changing your last name?
Again, this can be quite a personal question, but it’s also one you will probably be wanting to give a little thought to.
Changing your name after marriage is a big deal to many, so don’t feel rushed into making (or informing others) of your decision.
Tell them he’s taking your surname and watch their eyebrows soar.
If you want to know more about how to change your last name once married, check out Southern Bride’s article.
8. Are you planning on having children?
What’s your uterus up to? This question is not only cringeworthy and deeply personal, it can even be upsetting – not everybody can have children, let alone choose to.
Some people will immediately assume that children are on the radar, as soon as there’s a ring involved, but “we are just focussing on the wedding for now” is the perfect way to deflect attention away from your reproductive organs.
9. Are you going on a Wedding Diet?
I almost have no words for this one – it is never acceptable to ask if someone is going on a DIET – but I particularly dislike the assumption that a bride-to-be needs to lose weight. At least, if someone asks this question, you’ve got the perfect excuse to exclude them from the guest list.
Finally, what’s most annoying about everyone’s stupid questions when you get engaged…
One of the major annoyances for brides-to-be is that sometimes the wedding is all people want to talk about. YES, you are excited to be planning your wedding, but you also still have a life outside of becoming a part-time wedding planner, and want to discuss other normal day-to-day happenings too!
If you’ve just got engaged and people haven’t begun asking these questions, at least you’ve got a taste of what’s to come.